Me: I saw my mom’s picture today- I have them everywhere.
Grief: That is good, we want to remember those we have lost.
Me: I still can’t look at them for very long without getting sad and tears coming to my eyes. Then I can’t breathe, and my eyes feel puffy. It’s a lot of work to grieve.
Grief: Normal
Me: Listen, just because it’s normal doesn’t mean I like it. I mean using the bathroom is normal but it’s annoying and a hassle.
Grief: Again, using that sense of humor. Resilience is very important when grieving.
Me: Yes, I know. I teach people about it.
Grief: Teaching and doing are not the same.
Me: Well, sure, but I try really hard not to be a hypocrite and practice what I preach. Nothing pisses me off more than people who say one thing and do another constantly.
Grief: I’ve noticed but seeking justice for those around you is a good thing.
Me: It really angers people, especially right now.
Grief: That’s not my department but anger can be difficult to deal with. Hate even worse. Anger can be misunderstood though and often there is a different emotion behind it.
Me: Been there and it’s usually sadness and depression. Anger is easier than making yourself feel. I have been angry about my mom’s death for over a year and I still am, but I am starting to let go of the anger.
Grief: When we feel like we don’t have control over a situation as impactful as death, it leaves us feeling vulnerable and helpless at times. It’s paralyzing. I serve a purpose, but I’m supposed to be temporary.
Me: I am grieving much more than just the literal death of my mom, it’s complicated.
Grief: Humans have a lot of work to do if you are going to stop harming each other. You Mom was a victim of a broken system and stigma.
Me: Tell me about it, I never thought I would see anything like this in my lifetime. For many this is nothing new and everyone else is waking up to it. Grieving while the world is on fire is quite the experience.
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